I Got 99 Problems and Cancer’s One

I Got 99 Problems, but a Job Ain’t One

Now my main focus and goal is to stay positive, get healthy, fight this cancer devil that is in my body and not allow stress into my life.  Everything else is secondary.  (If you don’t have your health, you don’t have anything.)  So along with my new “job”, I’ve had plenty of downtime.  Plenty of free time that I had once hoped for.  Unfortunately, I do not make an hourly wage with my ‘getting healthy job’.  Wish I did.  I also wish money really did grow on trees, but it doesn’t.

Me working in the hospital while undergoing chemotherapy.

Mo Cancer, Mo Problems

Good news?  My company, M3 Makeup, is still up and running and in good hands.  Bad news, I’m not presently there which means we have had a substantial loss of income due to me not being able to work or go on jobs.  There’s such a misconception that business ownership means that the owners make so much money while paying their people small wages.  Sure, I bet there are businesses out there like this but when you’re a small business, most of the money goes back into the company to ensure its success and longevity. Some people get this.  Others never will.  The reality is that when a husband and wife work full time to bring in the income necessary for their monthly bills, if one goes out of work, it puts a huge hurting on the family.
Not just financially but emotionally as well.

Scott on double shifts and sleeping in the hospital

So here we are up to date with everything.  I’ve been out of work since mid January.  Leukemia isn’t officially going away anytime soon.  We have to find a donor for the bone marrow transplant I have to have in order to survive.  My husband is working doubles, overtime, and on the weekends so that we can make ends meet.  (On a side note, this worries me greatly.  I’m pretty sure I’m seeing new gray hairs on him every day along with the new dark bags underneath his eyes.)

Getting Kicked When You’re Down

If all that isn’t enough…our mailbox is now graced with enough medical bills to give the mail person back trouble.  Come on!!!  Are you serious?!  Is having an illness and all of the other problems that come along with it not enough?!  Not that I’m not grateful for the caregivers that are saving my life, but I swear…our story is starting to sound like a sad Country song right now.  At least our cat is healthy.  In all seriousness, we’re hoping that by sharing our experience, it will open your eyes to make sure that you are properly prepared for anything.  God forbid.

Young and healthy? Get good insurance anyway.  Still using “You Only Live Once” (or YOLO as the kids are calling it these days) as an excuse to spend money you don’t have?  Put money in your emergency fund first.   We started doing those things a few years ago and it has made all the difference in the world…if only we had started sooner.

From left to right:  1)  having my blood taken for the 429th time.  2) All the medicines and chemo going through me. 3)  Doctor’s visit.  4)  My chemo calendar.  This stuff is not fun, nor free!!  But I am very thankful for our advanced health care and technology otherwise I would not be here today!

Failing to Plan is Planning to Fail

We were somewhat prepared after going through the program with Dave Ramsey. We had health insurance (not very good since I have always been as healthy as a horse), a health savings account, and an emergency fund.  We did, however, have to change health insurance just a few weeks into it when we realized the deductible was too high and didn’t cover everything we needed.  Here are just some of the things that are on our never ending list of what we owe for:  7 weeks of hospital stays, weekly doctor visits, CAT scans, xrays, sonograms, biopsies, spinal taps (and there were so many), an ambulance ride which was fun and bumpy, chemo, medicine and pills, Dr. visits, and do I really need to go on?   Actually, yes I do.  I got a good one for you.  I’m currently on this super cancer chemo pill right now which is keeping me out of the hospital.  Get ready for this…it is $10,000 a month.  What?!  That breaks down to $333 a day for one pill every 24 hours.

Cancer comes with a lot of baggage.  And if you read the previous blog, it was a little beacon of hope for our future.  But what I didn’t go into was the fact that everything with the fertility process was out of pocket. Insurance did not cover one bit.  While we’ve had a lot of help along the way, we’re still getting hit left and right. My health savings and our emergency fund were depleted almost immediately and we’ve found ourselves starting over again.  

Where are we now?  Our new insurance kicks in on 5/1/14.  We will be paying three times as much as what my original health insurance bill was.  On this same date is when they will start the search for my donor. Hows that for hospitals and insurance?  They could have started the search in April but had to wait until the same date that our new insurance was up and running.  We’ve started using credit cards again when that’s the first thing we learned NOT to do in the Dave Ramsey Program.  Credit cards are just evil. We hadn’t used any in over 3 years.  Until now. And I don’t pretend that we’re any different from so many others that find themselves in an unexpected health emergency situations.  Tragedy and health issues do not discriminate. They hit everyone equally so don’t think you’re exempt from this. Take nothing for granted.

This was taken right after my head was shaved.  It was a very sad and emotional evening.  I’ve never felt more vulnerable and fragile than this very moment.

Thank you for life, and all the little ups and downs that make it worth living. 

Can we please end on a positive note?!  Why yes.  Yes, we can.  Even with all of this going on in our lives, there are some beautiful moments that do happen.  My husband has said to me with such love in his eyes, “I know we will make it through this.”  And I, too, feel that way.  No matter everything that we are facing right now, this is just a speed bump.  A very big speed bump that you need a truck with huge tires to get over. But we will make it.  You can’t ever lose faith, hope, or a positive attitude.  Failure isn’t an option.

Also, we’ve had so many people offer help and ask what can they do for us.  We’re happy with people just sending thoughts and prayers our way.  We hate asking for help…but the reality is we can’t do it alone. One of our best friends took it a step further.  He started a fundraiser to help us with this mountain of bills. Docs and nurses have helped us find solutions for meds, the fertility clinic gave us a cancer patient discount, and so many friends and family have stepped up with gifts, time, and even donations…it feels so strange to accept charity after working so hard for so long, but I don’t know where we’d be right now without this community.

I’m spending a lot of my free time being thankful for everything I have, some days that’s really hard, but it’s a job that fills my heart with love. All I can say is thank you, thank you all so much for everything. Every prayer, every thought, every hug, every little bit helps in the biggest fight of my life.